Who was there to/when…..?

Good news; we got to settle on our house on the past friday! I was so happy I cried all night and think I may have woken up crying Saturday morning. Call me silly, but I’d rather have a house 100% mine and pay a mortgage then pay $1 p/wk under a license agreement and the house won’t be 100% ours until who know when. I just don’t like the feeling of uncertainty.
Having a father who says he is supportive but doesn’t show it really hurts in times like these, as all you want is to have someone support you and be there for you. They may not have the same point of view as what you have, but at least they are there as a shoulder to lean/cry on. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had that. I can’t even think of 1 person who has ever been there for me as I have been there for them.

I have always been around my friends at their times in/of need(when they’ve included me in it) and have always listened to their problems and feelings and given advice when the time called for it. I just can’t, for the life of me, think as to when someone was there for me. Who was there when I lost my baby? Who was there when my so-called Grandmother said I shouldn’t be with my boyfriend because he is black on the my 18th birthday? Who was there when I broke up with my first boyfriend? Who was there?

Now I would like to discuss depression. It’s a bit taboo here in Australia and in my partner’s culture it is not spoken about because I don’t think they really believe in such things. It’s something I think I battle or have battled for a while now and I thought it had gone until the past few months. I’ve felt like it has crept back and I’m having a hard time shaking it off.

Anyways, here is the time to get dinner sorted and wind down.


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